Tips For Ending Toxic Behaviors (by Alecia Stephenson)

Remember when you were told that it took 21 days to create a habit?

Well, times have changed and so have the stats on that claim. It can take 21 days to end a habit and depending on your goal,  it may take weeks to a few months to habitually do something.

Before we get into any steps, lets first talk about toxic behaviors. If you google the definition,  you won’t find a simple answer. So it’s probably best to break it down; toxic is defined as poisonous, something very harmful or bad and behavior is defined as the way in which one acts or conducts oneself, especially towards others.

Now here’s where the tips come in and spoiler alert all of these tips are accountability tips. Let’s be honest; we can talk as much as we want about wanting to change. The hardest part about changing is actually changing. And if you’re not sure whether you’re actually changing behaviors, how do you know that you’ve actually changed?

Make A List

Physically writing things down has been the best tool for me and my journey of changing my behaviors. Buy a journal and write down your goals. Write down the behaviors you want to change and why. It is so important to state why you want to do something. Once you’ve figured out you’re why it makes it a bit easier to hold yourself accountable.

Set Dates

After you’ve finished creating your list, set some “soft” dates as to when you would like to go back and see whether you’ve made any progress on this change. Very similar to goal making, except you’re not setting a date to have actually changed the behavior. Again remember, changing is HARD. And I don’t mean that lightly.


Keep Notes

Remember that journal I encouraged you to buy? Don’t just use it to write down your list. Keep notes whenever a situation arises and note how you handled it. Was there something you did differently? Did you do everything the same? Keep that journal on you and try your hardest to keep notes. You’ll thank yourself later.




Ask Someone You Trust For Help!

This one is important. I’m gonna say this for the third time; changing is hard AF.

Doing it by yourself is extremely difficult. And I’m not saying that you can’t. I’m sure if you’re persistent and resilient enough, you can accomplish many things by yourself. But why not ask someone you trust, who has a better POV of you, to help hold you accountable for the shitty decisions you make. And sometimes it’s hard to have other people call you on your shit, but sometimes it’s really good for you.

I’m no expert on change. I’m just a girl who’s tryna change her own shitty behaviors. These tips are some things that I’ve tried and been successful. I’m able to recognize my shitty behavior, call out when I’ve actually done something different, and even stop myself midway of my shitty decision and choose a completely different way of handling it. I hope you find these tips helpful!

To read more of Alecia Stephenson’s blog post you can check out her blog here and follow her on Instagram he



Thank you, Alicia, for sharing your tips with NEW VIBEZ, I can’t agree more with them, accountability is key in everything we do and want to do. One thing I learned is that you cant expect to see results if your only talking about it, you have to be about it too.

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